Eggnog

Genre: Holiday fiction
Inspiration: Seasonal

Eggnog makes Stephen vomit so he passed on that particular offering. Wondering to himself why anyone still serves it, he surveyed the foreign room looking for someone who he could feign interest in so that he didn't look so conspicuous alone at the snack table eating cheddar cubes.

His wife was heavily engaged in a conversation with her boss' boss and some other woman who looked both angry and suspicious. He felt as if he went over and was introduced the woman would ask him direct and probing questions all building towards a crushing crescendo of defeat once she discovered he was a roofer. It wasn't easy for Stephen to be married to a lawyer - rewarding yes - but at holiday season, when overachievers gathered to celebrate their resounding financial successes and skirt family discussion (invariably to hide divorces, loveless marriages and other varied domestic disasters) they were at their most self-congratulatory. It was not a good time to be a roofer married to a lawyer.

That wasn't exactly true - Stephen booked at least a month of his year at this party. 3 days after bonus time people were feeling both drunk and charitable, and there was nothing like a trades person to evoke the most gut wrenching and uncomfortable of reactions from white collars.

"Ohhh. that's great - I could never handle those heights... I'm so impressed! In fact I was just saying to (insert wife's/husband's name here) the other day that we need to get our roof done... what a coincidence! how is your May looking?"

Stephen always followed up and always booked the work at 130% of his regular un-discounted rate. It was a petty and deeply satisfying penance that he made his wife's colleagues pay - It almost made up for the fact that the only thing Cramer, Snider & Berriman offered to drink besides wine (no roofer he knew drank wine) was eggnog.