Thursday, September 03, 2009

Mornings with Dasher...

I wish this was more fiction than fact....


Most mornings, when we shared a bed, I awoke with Dasher’s ass in my face. We’d usually start the night side by side, nose to nose, or perhaps he’d lie on his back enjoying the contrast to being on four legs all day. We were master and dog in a state of shared relaxation, sinking into slumber side by side reflecting on the activities of the day and thankful for the deep trust we shared. I’m not sure what would happen overnight, but whatever the cause, he’d shift 180 degrees eventually through adjustments and contortions and eventually - invariably - end up facing my feet. As I stirred in the mornings (in an active way that let him know I was actually awake as opposed to just restless) his tail would start to wag, and because of his orientation, it would sweep across my face in broad strokes. This added the injury to the insult of waking up facing a dogs ass, though it was hardly the worst part. Dash would rise in the wake of the tail lashing, standing high above me on the bed where I’d lay still reeling from the rude awakening and after he'd turned to face me, looking down with his droopy ears and long tongue dangling in my direction, he’d move towards the edge of the bed and the door. Stepping down with his front paws to the floor below, Dash would stop and ponder the brisk morning air. As he did so he'd slide his front paws along the wooden floor stretching his limber legs as he squatted slightly in the rear, bending his hind legs, and raising his tail high into the air. The combination of stretch, strain and squat on his limber k9 frame never failed to produce a violent flatulation, rocking the air between me and him with almost visible ripples of foul odour. I’d curse and bark a complaint at him, and as if to say “fuck you, for not letting me out last night when I had to pee” he’d look back at me with an indifferent glance that had insolence written all over it. The delicate balance of power had once again shifted in his direction, and another day started anew.

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